Growth

Finally transcribed poems in both collections. Now it is up to me to write new material (If I can…) definitely feel good having transcribed poems that have been hidden for over 12 years. Really been an eye opener. I used to be such a deep thinker…maybe I have become an antithesis of who I was when younger. I’m now a bit too flippant and very playful, the world is defo not on my shoulders, I swear like a trooper (when hacked off) …my younger self did not have a potty mouth. I used to have jamais-vu when I was younger. The opposite of deja-vu. It was such a surreal experience, hardly ever have them now…maybe it’s the cynicism over the years(??). 

I have learnt a lot about me from transcribing these poems. I’m really glad I put them all out there. Now, all I need to do is maybe…one day…write a poem (but how?? It means I’ve got to put down this nonchalant guard I have up all the time and let verse flow). I don’t know if I’m ready for that…I enjoy talking to me through a blog and sharing my thoughts. I want to write poetry again and I don’t. ( I don’t know if I can, without being nonchalant). I don’t know if I even want to. I like nonchalant me (for now), I like being playfully selfish, and I like chatting about it. I’m not going to dwell on poems written years ago cos it was a growth process and I’m happy with me…(I think…I’m sure…I am). I love flippant, playful me…(everything hurts less)



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