Reaching landmarks

I can barely wait to be 50! It’s one age I have always held in awe and been envious of. It’s such a landmark age and all the 50 year olds I know act like it’s a right of passage… like now they have turned fifty they basically know everything there is about life….(they wish!) I definitely want some of that self-assuredness…. carrying on as though there is something they know that I cannot be privy to.  Walking taller...(or maybe they just seem taller to me…)… with this age-defined presence about them. Commanding so much respect…I just get so envious and wish I was 52 so I could burst that bubble of theirs.  I still remember when my mum turned fifty…it was like the scales suddenly came off…she just seemed different. Bolder. Like nothing else mattered and it was all about what she wanted. I suppose that might be what happens when you turn 50 – nothing else matters- it’s a been there; done that moment and it’s all about you. A sense of absolutely selfish abandonment…no apologies. I suppose the big 5.0. gives some people the excuse to act all la-di-da…but it’s all good! I have every intention to act like a self assured p****k when I turn 50…(maybe I wouldn’t even need to act…maybe I’ll just be privy to the big secret and I’ll just temper my self assuredness with a teensy bit of condescension)…and smile so enigmatically that non-50 year olds would wonder what the big deal is!!